Communication - How to Listen

Good communication is the cornerstone of all successful relationships. Listening with the intent to hear and not judge or offer advice is a skill that many of us strive for. However the hustle and bustle of everyday life can often restrict the time we have to devote to really listening and taking the time to understand what the other is trying to say.

The person you are communicating with:

• May just want a friendly ear, someone to listen, empathise and reassure them.

• Unless specifically asking “What would you do?” or “What do you think?” are not seeking your opinion or judgement.

• Are looking for signs that you have listened and understood what they have been saying.

So, how does one listen to understand?

• Ensure that the environment you are in is conducive to listening.Aim to reduce as far as possible background noise or risk of interruption.

• Either turn off your mobile phone or switch it to silent.

• Ensure your body language is open and attentive.If you are fidgeting, looking at your watch, staring out the window you will appear

distracted and the conversation is likely to yield poor results.

• LISTEN, don’t be thinking about your response, what your opinion is, what you would do if you were them.

• When they have finished speaking reflect back to them what they have said.It doesn’t need to be word for word, just cover the main topics and any feelings they have mentioned.Finishing the summary with the question “Is that right?”Or “Have I understood you correctly?”This is a really useful way to ensure your understanding is correct and to

show the other party that you have actually listened.

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