Asking for Help
- Wendy Bennett
- Sep 7, 2015
- 3 min read
I know that for a lot of women asking for help is incredibly difficult. On top of that once you have made the decision to seek help you then have to find someone you can connect with. This in itself is no easy task – Just how do you find that person who you can connect with and work with on achieving your goals?
Unfortunately, there is no easy answer to this. It is a very personal decision and can be an exercise in trial and error.
One of my missions with A Maze In Life is to be transparent, to make it easy for you to decide if I am someone you can work with or not. I believe that the only way to do this is for me to share some of myself, my journey, and my experiences and demonstrate some tools and strategies that I may use in a counselling setting.
On my website you will find my bio – this gives you a bit of history behind my journey and some of the experiences I have had.
I will be doing some presentations at local events as part of ELLEvated Women team – the first being on 19th September at Pol-Arise in Castle Hill. Here you will hear a little about my life journey and philosophy as well as a practical demonstration of techniques I use.
I would also encourage you to read through my website and Facebook page as they both reflect my ethos and beliefs.
Finally I thought it might be worthwhile to give some practical examples of the types of therapies and strategies that I employ during the counselling relationship. I will do this through a series of blog posts which I shall be sharing on my website and Facebook page.
So, I am going to start by introducing you to Kate, our case study subject.
Kate is in her 40’s, is married with 3 kids. She works full time in order to be able to contribute to the large mortgage they have on their 4 bed detached piece of suburban paradise. Kate is happy to do this as she loves the home she had with her husband and children. Kate is beginning to feel as though her life is a never ending round of work, kids, after school activities, housework, bills and bickering with her husband. She is constantly questioning herself and her ability to be a good employee / wife / mother / daughter / sister / woman. She wishes she had more time to rediscover herself, her beliefs and her passions. She is not unhappy per se but she feels as though there is something missing, that there is an imbalance and that there should be more to life. She is unable to find any joy in life, even in things she used to love.
Kate lies awake at night worrying about what if scenarios, past conversations and events and is unable to stop herself from dissecting and re-examining every aspect.
Kate feels as though she has hit rock bottom and needs some help.
In Session:
After Kate had told her story and I felt as though I was beginning to gain an understanding of Kate’s life view I would talk to Kate about some different techniques I believed would benefit her.
Kate has gotten herself into quite a negative pattern of thinking – she feels as though something is lacking, has lost her joy for life and is spending a lot of time on what if scenarios and going over past conversations and events (something you should know about me and my counselling philosophy is that I give homework!!). Change is hard work and takes sustained, committed action from both parties in the relationship.
So, my homework for Kate from this first session would be for her to buy a journal or notebook and to start writing down those thoughts which are unhelpful – such as negative thoughts and what if scenarios etc. This takes practice to form the habit of becoming aware of when our mind is active and assessing whether it is being helpful or not.
In addition to this I would encourage Kate to surf the internet, pinterest and facebook and if possible to visit the library to find some inspiring quotes that resonate with her. There are A LOT
out there, but you need to find some that you connect with and believe in. Print them and place them around the house, write them down in places you will see them often such as the home screen on your mobile phone. Try to ensure that the first thing you see when you wake up is something positive and empowering – start the day on a positive note!!
Hope you can join me in the coming weeks for more insight into Kate, her situation and suggested therapies.
Wendy xx
A Maze In Life Counselling
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