What are your Goals? Are they S M A R T?

So this is part 4 of my “Kate” series looking at ways a counsellor can help women who are feeling a little lost. It is not only those who have suffered some sort of crisis who may wish to see a counsellor.

Kate is our case study subject and is a 40ish mum of 3, works full time and is feeling lost, as though something is missing, cannot find joy in her life and is fighting with her husband.

So far Kate has been working on changing her mindset from negative to positive. One way of doing this has been through journaling and using positive affirmations. We have identified patterns or events that Kate may have previously overlooked and have worked through these issues to enable Kate to gain some closure and be able to live her life. Another aspect of Kate’s life we have looked at has been the expectations she has set for herself and attached to her life roles of mother, wife, daughter etc. Often having too high or unrealistic expectations can be a source of stress and exacerbate a sense of defeat or disappointment with oneself.

The next area I would work with Kate on is setting some goals for the future. Having a sense of purpose, something to work toward, an outcome to look forward to can increase one’s sense of self esteem and self worth.

These goals could be geared toward personal development, such as a course in yoga or meditation, career development or career change, achieving a better sense of self and what she stands for. Whatever the goal, we would need to ensure that it was set with SMART principles in mind.

With each goal that is set it is important to break it down in to smaller, more manageable tasks.

Sometimes we don’t verbalise or visualise our goals because they feel too big or there is too much to do and it becomes overwhelming and we convince ourselves that we are unable to do it. Breaking it down into small goals and then smaller steps helps to give the goal a more achievable feel but also means we can see our progress which in itself provides motivation for us to continue on.

At this point I also wanted to add that in each counselling session there is a time for reflection and assessment of home work tasks and how the sessions are progressing in line with the client’s desires. If something isn’t working for the client this time of assessment and reflection allows us to find alternative tools that may work better for the client. I feel that it is also important to note that all sessions are led by the client. It is the client that determines which areas they would like to focus on and work on and what their priorities are. After all, the aim of counselling is for the client to achieve their goals.

If you have a question regarding the tools and techniques I am employing with Kate please do not hesitate to contact me – amazeinlife@hotmail.com

Wendy xo

#Goals #Go #SMART #SelfEsteem #WendyBennett #Achievemen